Sunday, October 6, 2013

Facebook: You're Doing it Wrong




This entry isn't directed at the social network empire. Such a post, while tremendously valid, would be exceedingly long and take days to compose. No, this entry is meant for us Facebook users. A few ways we may be doing it wrong when posting to Facebook:

 
1. Majority negative posts.

If well over half of your statuses consist of rants about the world around you and the people in it, expect to shoot to the top of everyone's list of who to put on invisible. People have enough drama in their own lives; they don't need yours, too. And when most of what you post consists of why everyone else sucks, the general impression left is that is isn't them it's you.

2. Disrespectful political posts.

I am never on board with those who decry political posting to Facebook. Still, it might be best to consider how it's done. Unless your friends list consists of only like-minded people, you risk alienating many if you can't respectfully disagree about politics. Posting cartoons depicting Barack Obama or George W. Bush as a monkey actually harm whatever valid argument you're trying to put forth, because you only end up looking like an extremist nutjob.

3. Repeated pleas for money.

Charitable fundraising posts = awesome.

I've-messed-up-my-finances-but-it-wasn't-my-fault-so-can-you-guys-bail-me-out-yet-again posts = awkward.

4. False humility.

Ex. "Someone at work today told me how awesome I am for doing a good job, and isn't that weird, because isn't it just common sense to do your job right?"

Translation: "Someone verbally acknowledged how awesome I am and now I'd like all of you to jump on board with your comments about how I rock because I desperately need that validation."

It's understandable to seek a cheerleading boost from your friends on occasion.  But too many posts feigning modesty while inviting others to sing your praises can come across as narcissistic.  (As an admittedly self-involved individual, I know whereof I speak.)

5. The medical overshare.

I cannot stress this enough. Your entire friends list does not need to know the inner workings of your Fallopian tubes in graphic detail. I promise.

6. The familial overshare.

Whatever psychological issues your spouse, sister, or (especially) child is going through, this should not be broadcast to your Facebook audience. Using others' problems to gain attention and sympathy for yourself is a punk move.  Take it to private messaging, where you can get the care and advice of a few trusted friends - and avoid embarrassing your loved ones.
 
7. The child-rearing overshare.

No one needs to know the approximate size, shape, and color of your child's first bowel movement in the potty. Or any subsequent one.

8. The domestic dispute overshare.

I'm sorry that your deadbeat baby daddy has cheated on you for the seventeenth time, but please explain what is accomplished by railing about it on Facebook. I genuinely do not understand.

9. Game updates.

While your latest score on Candy Crush is truly enthralling... okay, no. No it isn't.

10. The personal attack.

Ex. "You think you're so smart in talking crap about me like I won't find out. But I did, so now only YOU look foolish."

Um, no. Not only them.

 
What are some of your Facebook pet peeves?

10 comments:

  1. I know every one of these people!
    Someone please shoot me if I start doing any of these things!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I promise to never post about a bowel movement :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No fear!
      I'll pm you aaaaaaaalllllllllll the details :)

      Delete
  3. Ok...so now some of the *other* things that irritate me on Facebook...

    - people who post endless news updates - that's what the BBC is for!

    - people who think they have to whet your appetite for the post they're *going* to be making - by making a post to tell you they *will* be posting. I'm barely interested in the main post, let alone the three prior ones that warn me of what's coming. Just stop. Please.

    - people who drop in periodically to off-load some kind of verbal bomb and then step back out, all innocently hurt when they're called to account.

    - people who manage to turn any situation into a me me me fest, no matter how tenuous the link, and lapping up the hearts like they're soul food.

    - people who complain when they don't get the comments they expected on a thread they started. It's a public forum - you put something on your wall for people to comment on, you can't control what they say. Maybe you just have to hope they haven't read this blog and see you for what you are!!

    Umm...I'm sure there are more...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. - people who think they have to whet your appetite for the post they're *going* to be making - by making a post to tell you they *will* be posting. I'm barely interested in the main post, let alone the three prior ones that warn me of what's coming. Just stop. Please.

      THIS!!!!!!


      - people who drop in periodically to off-load some kind of verbal bomb and then step back out, all innocently hurt when they're called to account.

      - people who manage to turn any situation into a me me me fest, no matter how tenuous the link, and lapping up the hearts like they're soul food.

      AND THIS!!!!!! GOOD GOD THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. - people who post endless news updates - that's what the BBC is for!

      This drives me crazy when it's obvious the person repeatedly rushes to post "breaking news"; whether it be mass shootings or natural disasters, they want to be first to let you know about it. It feels like using people's tragedies to bring attention to oneself.

      - people who drop in periodically to off-load some kind of verbal bomb and then step back out, all innocently hurt when they're called to account.

      This, I mostly find hilarious.

      - people who manage to turn any situation into a me me me fest

      Occasionally guilty!

      Delete
  4. Glad for this post.

    I gotta say the over share of other peoples problems is what gets me. Like no one has to know your child has emotional problems, that's over stepping. There should be a freaking line in life and if you step over it, God should be able to reach down and smack the shit out of you. Over sharing other peoples situations is truly one of those times.

    The using FB to advertise your crappy ass writing. No one cares. If you were that good you wouldn't need FaceBook at all for such a thing.

    Asking people for hand outs and or donations. People ain't rich, get a fucking job. And if its for a cause it better be a good one. Don't ask me to donate to an already rich ass school or to someone with more money than me. O_0

    Using FaceBook to talk about your fake child and or fake cancer.

    Trust me real kids are more fun and Cancer sucks.

    Using FaceBook to gain sympathy. Good God! Get a therapist at least he's paid to listen. Because in reality on the whole most people you are moaning to really and truly don't give a fuck. They're probably making fun of you.

    But my biggest annoyance with people on FaceBook is the relationship status. Who cares. And if you are one of those people who puts down 'it's complicated' clearly you wanted someone to ask you about said complications.

    Ahhh now I feel better, I feel good. I feel great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The using FB to advertise your crappy ass writing. No one cares. If you were that good you wouldn't need FaceBook at all for such a thing.

      Guilty!

      Using FaceBook to talk about your fake child and or fake cancer.

      How I missed including this, I don't know. Making up fake ailments is not cool.

      Delete